Please. Do Not Write Like You Talk

A Case for NOT Writing Like You Talk 

People enjoy and retain good conversation and renounce boring, corporate cliché and jargon. That’s why some experts advise you to write like you talk.

Yikes. Have you ever listened to yourself talk?

Unless you’ve spent the last five years getting your speech on at Toastmasters, please, please—do not write like you talk.

A little credit

Okay, I know you don’t take this “write like you talk” advice literally. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be reading this post from your company-issued desktop.

In business writing, an informal and conversational tone can help you connect with your reader. But writing like you talk can be difficult to do well.

The dangers of writing like you talk (beyond the overuse of like, um, and other such offenders)

1. You bury your point. Or don’t even have one (see Exhibit A below). Your best friend will forgive you for a lack of objective. Your captive readers will not. No point = no reader.
   
2. You ramble. Saying “to make a long story short” in conversation might pass, but readers prefer you start with “the short.”
   
3. You don’t edit yourself. Verbally, you can rewind and revisit what you’re trying to communicate until you get it right. There are no such mulligans in writing. 

Writing like you talk—done well

1. What you wrote sounds like something you’d actually say. Minus the big words meant to impress. Minus fillers like “at the end of the day” and “with all due respect.” Minus redundancies like “end result” and “free gift.”
   
2. You use simple language and keep it brief. This doesn’t come naturally to me. Edit yourself or find someone else who can.
   
3. You speak to your audience. Whether you need to communicate a new procedure or you want to bond with a potential client, consider your reader to find the right tone. When I write for doctors, my attempts at cleverness are whacked like a mole. But other clients prefer a bit of wackiness.
   
4. You connect by showing personality. Read the last thing you wrote. In ten years, would you recognize it as your voice? Even if you ghost-write like me, kill the robotics. A human voice keeps readers interested. 

Business writing doesn't need to be stiff, formal, and boring. Use your conversational skills to capture your reader’s attention. Don’t ramble, always edit, and for God’s sake—don’t write like you talk.
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Exhibit A: A recent conversation with my best friend.

Me: Hey dude.
Her: What’s up?
Me: Nothing. Oh wait, that’s not true. I totally had something to tell you. But I forget what that was.
Her: Dude, hate it when that happens.

Granted, we’ve known each other since 7th grade. So our conversations can lean towards juvenile.

Yet, imagine the nonsense that would emerge if we all wrote like we talk.